OBJECTION!

OBJECTION!
 
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BRAWNDO THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
It's like SHAVING YOUR CHEST WITH A LAWN MOWER!, which probably sounds dangerous but it's not more dangerous than BRAWNDO, because drinking BRAWNDO is like RIDING A PONY!, which probably sounds not dangerous, except that the pony is THREE HUNDRED FEET TALL AND COVERED IN CHAINSAWS!, and to get on the pony you have to climb an elevator with SIXTEEN LIVE COUGARS!, which is an ACTUAL SPORT IN LATIN AMERICA!, which is extremely fun, but not as much fun as BRAWNDO...